Rant: Pharos Lighthouse

Alternate title: How to ruin a game in 100 easy steps.

I originally posted this a few months ago on my Myspace blog, but seeing as it’s just as likely to be read there as here (read: probably not), I’ll repost it.  And for the record, yes, I’ve beaten FFXII since then.

So I’ve almost finished Final Fantasy XII.  Overall, I think it’s a good game.  Storywise, it’s a step up from pretty much everything Square has offered in recently.  Combat-wise, I think it’s the best ever.  I thought FFX-2 was a step in the right direction, and the free-flowing dynamic in this game is even better.  And as for difficulty level, this is the first FF game since 1 (yeah, a LONG time) to really put my party in danger, though I suppose some of that could be my penchant to micromanage more than let the computer take control.

But despite all this, there’s one glaring flaw in the game that drops this game like a stone: the infamous Pharos Lighthouse.  This dungeon answers the question, “Can Squenix avoid having one glaring screw up in a game?”  The answer, unfortunately, is no.  It’s almost like someone thought that the game wasn’t long enough, that the story was moving too fast, and that the amount of combat was lacking up to this point.

Hint:  All three of those points are wrong.

The end result of whatever board meeting thought this little gem up, is a 100 floor dungeon that will probably take the average player 4~5 hours to complete.  And let’s get this straight from the get-go.  This is 4~5 hours of shear combat There is no story progression whatsoever until you reach floor 100.  There is really no puzzles to speak of.  In addition, there are 7 boss fights in this area.

Now, if this was the least bit engaging, it would be okay.  Unfortunately, it’s far from it.  The floor layouts are uninspiring.  The background and foreground motifs are static for the entire exercise.  The music does not change except for the boss fights.

But surely if all of the preceeding is true, the fights must be pretty good, right?  Unfortunately, something about a 100 floor dungeon means AI must be thrown out the window.  To call these enemies as dumb as a jar of mayonaise would be an insult to said jar.  And these fools are weak too; the only encounter that remotely phased, in fact killed me, was an ambush by 4 Mistmares that can Disable/Slow/Stop your entire party.  This only occured 1 time, near the very beginning of the dungeon.

Then you might expect that when you get to the top, you’re going to be rewarded with an awesome boss fight and some story, right?  Well, you do get the story, thankfully.  On the other hand, you face a two part boss fight.  The first part of this encounter is probably the easiest boss I’d fought in the last 30 hours of gameplay, and the second part isn’t much more difficult.

So what’s the final tally?  5 hours of gameplay nets you a few pieces of generally crappy equipment, 600 LP, 4 level ups, and about 10 minutes of story.  Quite a dismal failure if I do say so myself.

Fortunately I’ve heard that all that’s left is the endgame, and that goes pretty quickly.  I don’t think I could justify playing this game anymore if there were another Pharos Lighthouse in my way.